Gumption.

Gumption. Get up & Go

         Here is a great word to use in presentations. A word that does, like Captain Kirk is often quoted, “…boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Gumption:

         1.Boldness of enterprise; initiative or aggressiveness.

         2.Guts; spunk.

         3.Common sense.

         What a story this word creates. It has a place in the Word Hall of Fame. The mix of initiative, risk and common sense is a recipe for a hero.          

         This word is a noun, a person, place or thing, but it feels more like a verb, an action, a way of being. 

         Watch for power words. Words to take on a quest. Words to inspire an audience. Words to save me on a rainy day when the S.A.D.S.* drizzle forth ‘stinkin-thinkin’.

         Got Gumption?

         Who’s got it?

         Where does it come from?

         How did they get it?

         How can I get some?

         It comes from the same store that serve other Hall of Fame Words, like Attention, Belief, Conscious, Discipline, Effort, Feedback, down the G aisle along with Grace and Gratitude. A place where words are tools to build the skill and karma accounts. Words that transform into action.

         All our heroes Got Gumption.

         Public Speaking requires Gumption. Parenting needs Gumption, the whole concept of birthing, caring, teaching, and the patience of parents require Gumption.

         We build Gumption from taking risks.  Risks are very individual. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, business all have different, individual kinds of risks. One person risks a six-figure income to start his or her own business. Another takes a risk and leaves their comfort zone to teach others to take risks. Some risk their ‘likeability’ by knocking on a door, making cold calls, risking rejection. Some have risked physical safety by walking on fire, parachuting for fun and thrills, taking on physical challenges to manifest Gumption

         Life changes are risky business, and appreciating changes builds Gumption.

*S.A.D.S. Seasonally Afflected Disorders 

Don't make it a habit.

Don’t make it a habit.

         A key to being a conscious public speaker. .

         I am challenged by the statements negative aspect, how can I ‘don’t-as in not do a thing when many teachers’ state affirmations, goals, and intentions need to be framed in the positive because our conscious mind doesn’t hear the ‘don’t, or the not’.

         Are our minds so crazy that when I state I am not going to eat after 8pm, my mind defaults to eating after 8pm? Are we that contradictory?

         “That’s what you don’t want. What do you want?” Coaches ask.

         “Well I don’t want to make it a habit.” Student replies.

         “That’s what you don’t want. What do you want?” Coach asks.

         “I want to consciously, deliberately, choose, my reality.”

         So when or how does my positive intentions become a habit?

         What is a habit?

         Is it a fall from grace into a rut; sleep walking, becoming robotic?

         Is habit letting our evil inner siblings loose to do the same thing and expect different results?

         Is habit indulging to allow others to indoctrinate me?

         Don’t make it a habit really means make it how I want it.

         In dance class when the instructor says ‘don’t think ’ it means to decide to enjoy and appreciate your new dance steps. To remember your intention. That’s when the dancing happens.

         How do I stop from making ‘it’ a habit?

         I have a habit of watching my fingers as I type. This was a tough paragraph to type without watching, I kept cheating and looking. I get disturbed if I make a mistake. I feel very uncomfortable ungluing my eyes from the keyboard. It’s a battle to not watch my fingers. My habits trapped me until I recall the gradient approach to learning. I practice and I gradually free my attention, and stop looking.

         In speaking, breaking a habit can be a way of finding more time to be present, more space to allow ideas to resonate with my audience. Finding the magic of the space behind a note, a beat, that allows more freedom of expression to create fully. Not rushing the thought, being gradiently uncomfortable to break the habits.

         Be aware of what’s a habit and what’s not. Use the feedback to support goals. Don’t make anything a habit, unless it’s your intent. 

Stating the Obvious

Stating the Obvious        

         Often when speaking it becomes necessary to State the Obvious.

If it is so obvious why does the speaker need to present it?

OBVIOUS to you is not OBVIOUS to the audience.

It is the speakers job to let the cat out of the hat and assist the audience in seeing, hearing and feeling the obvious.

Changes are challenging. New information or new ways of seeing, hearing or feeling old information can be difficult to fathom. Concepts may hold multiple meanings.  For example FEAR of NOTHING can also yield NOTHING to FEAR.   

The obvious could have been glassed over into an invisible habit.  

It can become the invisible elephant in the room, invisible to the audience, but there still is an elephant in the room.

         When the emperor is naked, he is naked. Pretense will not change his nudity. Nor will pointing fingers get him dressed.

Ignoring the obvious is sometimes known as ignorance.

         Those obvious points need to be considered in relationship to the presentation. They often act as a foundation, the basics needed to build a unique selling propositions, to juxtapose new meaning, to boldly go where no has gone before.

         Stating the obvious is not a time to insult the audience’s intelligence. It is time to be subtle, speak slowly and combine intent to share the epiphany in the moment. It can be a great surprise that takes your presentation “off the charts.”

         Add your body language, gestures and facial expressions to create an elegant wordless moment that expresses and accents the obvious like an ‘AHA’ or even a humorous Homer Simpson ‘DUH’.

The obvious can be quite surprising.                                                  

Exercise: What are examples of the obvious? Multiple meanings?  Invisible habits?

Beyond turn off phones, where the rest rooms are, and when’s the break what are the obvious that needs to be presented?  

Yes, And

Yes, And

         This is from lessons in Neuro Linguistic Practice (NLP) and exercises in Improv, a way of growing your attention, and recognizing the interconnectedness of all things from both Quantum Physics and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

         In Improvisation, while on stage, you are given a line, a topic, even a prop and it’s time to create. Saying “Yes, and” to what your partner or team says.

         Yes, I accept you and from your idea and I will build yu and your idea to look and be better. My goal is to make you and thus us look better, and entertain.”

         “Yes, and” can lead to great humor, new ideas, and a great sense of presence in the NOW. 

         “Yes, and” requires paying attention.

         In NLP “Yes, and” changes my world. It changes how I feel. “Yes and” allows me to own all of life, instead of the separation, stuckness of not belonging. 

         I am whole and a part of all things is one of the affirming mantras of new age consciousness lifting. 

         Here is an example of how “Yes and” can add attention, connection and peace to your life.

         Feel the difference between these two statements:

         We went on vacation but, it rained.

         We went on vacation and it rained.

         Which one felt better?

         Which one rained on your parade?

         Using “Yes, and” is communication that empowers and does not create a separation between you and your experience. It does not negate or separate you from your experience with a butt.

         Butts are best made for sitting, and observing.

         Change those separating butts into ands. Feel the difference.

Lost passion?

What to do when you lose your passion?

         Like when love walks out the door. When hope jumps ship.  Or your dreams, that floated above carrying you like balloons, your feet barely touching the ground, fizzled flying aimlessly landing deflated in a corner smelling of wet rubber. Your passion is gone. 

What can you do?       

You can try & remember where you last had it? Did you leave it in the bedroom? But maybe we’re not looking for that kind of passion, not the infatuation, the ardor, the fervor but the passion of wonder at each moment of life. 

The passion that kick starts my morning. The passion that gets me to workout. 

The passion that excites my day, my work, my friendships, that fuels interest & puts me into the compassionate quest for awareness, for enthusiasm, & for pure joy.  

Without delving into the ‘stinking’ thinkin’ or the ‘pity-pots’ or the introspection of ‘poor me’ lets find some magic potions, some panaceas for the lost passion blahs.

Start with a mirror, cause how can you get very far if you don’t know who you are?  Take a good long look & see if you are who you think you are. 

Put your attention out there, on your image, on something besides your mind-set, because lost passion means your mind is fixed on something. The passion won’t return while focusing on it, you need to focus on someone or something else. Take your attention from inside, to outside. Be a friend, listen, observe, get interested in someone else & begin to care. Focus on another person & imagine-

“This person is just like me, seeking happiness in their life.

“Just like me they are trying to avoid suffering.

“This person has known sadness, loneliness and discouragement. 

“Just like me they want passion in their life.

“This person is just like me worthy of appreciation, interest, changes, and passion.*

There is a tendency when we are feeling lack, as in lack of money, love, enthusiasm, passion to hide. 

“I don’t want anyone to know I indulge in negativity. I’ll just curl up in bed with all my self defeating smelly friends.”

 To regain the passion it’s time to fight the inertia, to beat gravity, change your attitude, & sit up straight because you cannot be negative while sitting up straight. Change your posture & your attitude changes, because your attitude is your orientation to the horizon. Then begin singing, ♪I got a new attitude♫ **

You will find you are unique, awesome, & incredible just like everyone else. 

* A variation of THE COMPASSION EXERCSE from Harry Palmer-ReSurfacing

** New Attitude by The Pointer Sisters. 

A Way to Handle Limits

         ”Imagine there is a deity or a machine in the sky, a giant Hoover vacuum cleaner that’s purpose is to suck up our limits when we perform the appropriate gesture. It is a gesture of ‘offering up’ our limits.

“Imagine the limit is in our hand and flip them up into the sky to feed the Hoover. This gesture can be a noticeable large two-handed gesture or it can be small and invisible to everyone else. It is a gesture of conscious awareness. Sounds hokey but being aware of a habit, and our limits have become habits, the offering up gesture relieves the attachment to the habit and begins the practice of being unlimited.

“Here is an example of how to use the HOOVER. Sitting among a group of people someone begins share their tale of sadness and woe full of stinking thinking, limits and negativity-“I can’t believe … people should always….I hate it when….nobody can be happy…I can’t remember anything…. I can’t….You know limits, critique’s, naysayers-bummers!

“The HOOVER is hungry for those limits. OFFERING THEM UP and  build your Unlimited Freedom of Choice Muscle.

“The gesture need not be grand and embarrassing, a flip of the thumb or tongue, a shrug of the shoulder is enough to catch a NOW of Limits and send them into a moment of non-limits.”

 Why does the Hoover work?

         “The Hoover works because it is your attention,” continued IAM, “ coupled with your awareness, intention and a universe, or multi-verse, that supports each of us in having what we want. Life wishes to evolve. Life may be neutral and have a propensity that encourages enlightenment. It is the opposite of the plumber’s union credo-Shit runs down hill and pay day is on Friday.

         Paying Attention is our Best Investment and the HOOVER is here suck up all negativity and limits. It’s automatic. No need to even empty the bag. Use it when you feel limits or negativity anytime from now on.

         “Place your open palms in front of you. Imagine any negative or limiting thought in your hands and toss it to the Hoover in the sky.”

EXCERPTS FROM Gary’s new Novel:
Art Deco Meets the Ancient Wisdom Experience-AWE

How addictive are excuses?

         Can you go a day without an excuse? An hour?

         What’s your favorites?

         Number one is:Time-Not enough time. You got that one?

         Or too much time so procrastination wins!

         Then there is fear-the -False Evidence Appearing Real:

         “If they find out I am Lazy, irresponsible, stupid & wrong, careless, forgetful, I need an excuse.

         You are not any of those labels you are an ever growing, often learning, free spirit with choices, unique like everyone else.                                                                       Excuses are there to keep you from owning your greatness.                    You may believe your excuse, I don’t and as with most excuses no one else believes them either. 

         There are excuses that really kill us.

                  “One drink for the road is OK”

                  “I don’t need that physical, I am OK”

                  “Everyone is doing it.”

         There are plausible seeming REAL excuses.

         These are the true stories, though excuses. For example the story of the worried mom whose teenager was on her first date and came home an hour after curfew. “I was worried sick about you,” Mom said with a nervousness in her voice.

         “I’m sorry mom.” Said the daughter, “But I couldn’t get the condom on.” That might have been more information than mom wanted.

         There are great excuses on line-a plethora to add to your creativity. 

         Astrology excuse-Were you born under a bad sign, “Virgo can’t do anything unless it’s perfect is my excuse.”

         Sex-“I’m a girl and we’re bad at math.” “That’s the way my dad did it.”

         Age-“At my age I am lucky to remember anything.” “I’m too new at this.”

         Generics:“I was never good at ‘blah, blah blah’.

         “I am not a technical person

         “My parents were ‘blah, blah, blah’.

         “I’m left-handed, hard of hearing, disabled, over/under qualified.

         Do you want greatness in your life?

         Are your values motivating you or are your excuses and a chronic case of the disease of tomorrow keeping your life as one of ‘good enough?’

         The bottom line is No one cares about excuses except the one making them. It is habitual. A reaction to fear of failure and a belief you are not being good enough

Here is a Call to act-You are good enough without your excuse!~

Here is what can you do?

         Keep your agreements and only make agreements you are willing and able to keep.

         Pay attention to what you say.

         Get help-join EEE Eradicate Erase Excuses

         Commit to your values.

         Breathe out the excuse-Just Let the excuse go-we don’t care. Get   on with being present.

         If you want to be great, not just good enough, there are no excuses, it takes paying attention.

Well Excuse Me…..☺

        A great introduction to a funny routine, BUT There is nothing funny about our excuses, his or her excuses, their excuses and especially the governments excuses

        

       They’re destroying us!

         They’re what is keeping us stuck at Good Enough.

         Time to eradicate, eliminate erase and finally deodorize the stinking thinking plaguing the world.

         I first heard of stinking thinking(S/T) from Zig Ziglar, 40 years ago. It is still a rampant plague.

         You may have heard me rant on about S/T

         Well excuse me…… I’m doing it again and I ain’t stopping till the stench is gone and we can all smell the roses.

         The world of excuses is more than a symptom 

         The language of excuses is addictive.

         The only answer is total withdrawal from all excuses

         Unconditional surrender.

Time to sign the No More Excuses Certification Form.

(Contact me for a form.)

         Excuses are a waste of the only non-renewable resource-Time.

      

Self Talk that’s nice

         These are phrases aimed at yourself, such as,  ‘You may,’ ‘Could you,’ ‘Notice that’, all neutral,  and judgment free. It is your attention that points to making personal changes without pain.

         For example “Gary, you may want to do some more editing before sending out this blog.” Or, “Could you find another way of saying that?”  Or, “Notice your favorite jeans are shrinking again this holiday season.”          

         Examples neutral judgment free feedback.

         Pain is such a catalyst for change, but not always necessary. When I have the clarity and freedom from moments of embarrassment, discomfort and trauma and recall one of those times I wish would have gone differently I can replay it and notice I was OK. It happened, I survived, maybe even some humor occurs as you disassociate from that pain.

         What you can do in your imagination, you can make real. You are more than your actions, more than your feelings; you can just watch and appreciate whatever happens. It’s called life. 

         Just be nice to the most important, creative and caring person in the world-You.

Avoid borrowing trouble.

         I believe we can control our mind by the questions we ask, and we can make war with the questions we ask.

         How do I know what you are thinking?

         I heard a story of a friend with a ‘significant other’(SO) that when asked “What were you thinking when you said that? The (SO) Consistently replied, “I don’t know.”

         “What do you mean? You must have thought something. What?”

         “I don’t know.” Escalation begins-

         “It is almost impossible to not think. How do you do it?”

         “I don’t know.” Further escalation.

         “Well you must have thought something.”

         “I can’t remember.” The first bomb-

         “You’re lying.”BOOM!

         Not my Circus. Not my Monkey.

         A polish aphorism, that has humor built into the picture, to let it go.

         Here is a core value of communication-NEED TO KNOW NEED NOT. It is how not to take on behavior or karma that is not your own.

         Staying free from taking on other peoples troubles, not building mountains out of mole hills.

         What is mine? What is yours? What is ours?

         IS there a line separating you and me?

         How interconnected are we?

Since we are connected and do need and enjoy each other here is another core value that makes life and communication work,  play Yes, And. Pure acceptance And make your significant other look and feel valued.

         The final value since we are connected, wherever I go, you go with me and I go with you. Yes, and that with wherever two or more gather to learn, to grow, we become treasures for each other. Cherish our time, all the time, for it is an honor to know each of you. You are not my circus. Not my monkey. You are friends, support, part of my treasury.

“Whoever has Gratitude will be given more, and they will have abundance. Whoever does not have Gratitude, even what they have will be taken.”

Disassociation Doctrine

         States that you are not your words, your thoughts, and you are responsible for your actions and can separate yourself from any and all identities and be a neutral observer to your actions and events.  A Doctrine of Freedom!

         Here is an exercise to practice: staying neutral. All my clients, and most of my friends are entrepreneurs, as I am, one of our biggest challenges is self-judgments. The boss lives inside of us and can be more critical than necessary. 

         Is criticism necessary? Isn’t it all just feedback?

         This exercise is in the “stick & stones may break my bones but words can never harm me” mode. It is designed to stretch yourself, intended to be fun, and  fall into useful versus uselesssuffering mode. 

         Call yourself out. 

         I ‘m stupid & wrong!

         Stand in front of a mirror, full length if possible, and call yourself ‘stupid & wrong’ until you can say it without any emotions arising. Get good at calling yourself out.

         Exxxxxxaggggggerrrrrr8.

         Taking an exercise to an extreme provides the best opportunity to learn. 

         When you have the ‘I am stupid and wrong’ flattened, switch to the blamer role with “You are stupid & wrong.’ Have fun with the blame game, point and wag that finger, notice when you are pointing the finger at another, three are pointing back at you. Then divide your attention becoming the camera person and zoom in and out on the lead actor, you.  Just watch, the intent is to be neutral to disassociate  allowing you freedom from reaction. You are more than the role; you are the director, the star and audience.  

         With ‘neutrality’ as a tool it becomes possible to create Correction without invalidation. This is a corollary of stupid & wrong, perhaps an antidote. This requires more thought. Again stand in front of a mirror and find fault with your image. “You’re too ____, again exxxxxaggggerate8  offering correction without invalidating the person in the mirror.