Don't make it a habit.

Don’t make it a habit.

         A key to being a conscious public speaker. .

         I am challenged by the statements negative aspect, how can I ‘don’t-as in not do a thing when many teachers’ state affirmations, goals, and intentions need to be framed in the positive because our conscious mind doesn’t hear the ‘don’t, or the not’.

         Are our minds so crazy that when I state I am not going to eat after 8pm, my mind defaults to eating after 8pm? Are we that contradictory?

         “That’s what you don’t want. What do you want?” Coaches ask.

         “Well I don’t want to make it a habit.” Student replies.

         “That’s what you don’t want. What do you want?” Coach asks.

         “I want to consciously, deliberately, choose, my reality.”

         So when or how does my positive intentions become a habit?

         What is a habit?

         Is it a fall from grace into a rut; sleep walking, becoming robotic?

         Is habit letting our evil inner siblings loose to do the same thing and expect different results?

         Is habit indulging to allow others to indoctrinate me?

         Don’t make it a habit really means make it how I want it.

         In dance class when the instructor says ‘don’t think ’ it means to decide to enjoy and appreciate your new dance steps. To remember your intention. That’s when the dancing happens.

         How do I stop from making ‘it’ a habit?

         I have a habit of watching my fingers as I type. This was a tough paragraph to type without watching, I kept cheating and looking. I get disturbed if I make a mistake. I feel very uncomfortable ungluing my eyes from the keyboard. It’s a battle to not watch my fingers. My habits trapped me until I recall the gradient approach to learning. I practice and I gradually free my attention, and stop looking.

         In speaking, breaking a habit can be a way of finding more time to be present, more space to allow ideas to resonate with my audience. Finding the magic of the space behind a note, a beat, that allows more freedom of expression to create fully. Not rushing the thought, being gradiently uncomfortable to break the habits.

         Be aware of what’s a habit and what’s not. Use the feedback to support goals. Don’t make anything a habit, unless it’s your intent.