Who's Driving

Who’s Driving?

          From a very young age, in order to survive, we’re taught to believe certain things by our parents and caregivers. Whether these beliefs are true or not we may have forgotten to ask, or just assumed they were.

         These beliefs form the core of how we view life and everything that “comes into our world”. These beliefs act as filters, which both frame and control our every thought and perception. The vast majority (over 90%) of these filters are un-conscious, acting as both filters and imprints.

         What this means is that over 90% of the time, we’re simply unaware of why we do what we do. Rick Jarow, author of “Creating The Work You Love” says it well: “We may be driven, but we do not know who or what is driving us.”

         It is this question that has sent me to hundreds of workshops, read hundreds of books, written hundreds of essays and sermons to find out. I am a very curious fellow who wants to know what I know, what others know, and how to get the most out of the limited time available in life.

          Let’s look closely at this quote when it says: “but we do not know who or what is driving us.” Some may read the quote and think it’s admirable to be driven. Others look deeper and see the potential hidden reason for their pain and suffering.

         Have you ever wondered when life doesn’t go the way you want what’s really happening under the surface”? In other words, who or what’s doing the driving?

         I look to the concept of continuums to understand these situations and place the desire to know at the one end and who cares (whatever)at the other, and as long as I think in terms of continuums I feel movement, and movement does keep ones attention. I am enjoying the ride.

         Over the years there have been hundreds of books written with titles like...The Secret-You can have anything you want. As a general rule, these books urge us to see ourselves in a new light and thus generate within ourselves a personal magnet whereby the universe brings us new rewards and experiences. Great theory...and, to a degree, I buy it.

         In practice, though, we have beliefs, attitudes and habits that serve as substantial barriers to achieving these new levels.  How do we, for example, see ourselves as receivers of financial abundance when we have competing beliefs like "rich people are greedy, nasty and step on people to get all that wealth"?

         So who is driving? Are we in a car, bus, bicycle or are we walking? Is anyone else riding with me? What can I do?

         One-Take an inventory-I’ll gladly send you our Checking Inn inventory.

         Two-Get a mirror and take a good honest look at yourself and your day(s)-do it more than once. Let the mirror become your personal assistant.

         Three-Use your fearlessly speaking skills to ask trusted honest friends-“What do you see, feel or think when I walk into the room?” Thank them with “I can use that,” and gather insights and see who is driving. 

        It is amazing what others know about who is driving us.

Going Meta

Going Meta

            Not Mecca, or any location, but positioning yourself above your situation. Seeing a bigger picture, a new point of view using your own GPS (Great Paths to Success) to go beyond, separating from the situation and getting the sense to how it all fits together.

         Being Meta is a vision, a frozen moment in time, similar to those who have had out of body experiences. You see you doing you.

         “Wow, that’s me playing me.”   

         Being Meta means you can see the vision without judgment. Your role may be as an extra or as the star. It lasts as long as your attention can hold the space of NOW.

         Going Meta offers the benefit of detaching before reacting, or should reaction already occur seeing the outcome of reacting without judgment, excuses or blame, and see what happens with judgment, excuses and blame.

e. 

         How to get Meta?

         By being curious and finding the ‘that’s interesting’ space in you. Feeding your curiosity muscle and punching a ride on as many ways of seeing you as your attention can hold. 

         I go Meta not to miss the feel of it all, but to get a bigger view than my mind. I could be looking to see if I am clinging to the same old same, (SOS) and help break a ‘going nowhere loop’. Or is this loop one I want to use to see more specifics of this moment?

         What purpose does this action serve?

         Is this vision aligned with my higher purpose?

         Where is my attention?

         I love being Meta, judgment free, present with the mystery of the moment and evolving into being in the quiet, ease and grace of appreciation.

         Being Meta I am beginning to look and recognize certain energies, called by Quantum Physics as ‘attractors.’

         This is a revelation brewing for decades that life does not go in a limited sequential manner. 1,2,3,4, may actually go 1,4,2,8,5,7  even with the pattern of numbers happening simultaneously.

         The concept of time and cause and effect are limits created in that moment as an answer, when multiple forces are at work. 

         I am interested in finding attractors, and becoming an attractor. I have some clues.  Attractors are not static. They appear to be verbs, with power to create and empower change. They reflect or create values and lofty principles. I find they act like muses, the kind Elizabeth Gilbert talks about in Eat, Pray, Love. Here is her link at Ted Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius?language=en

         Attractors speak with words and phrase like ‘you can’, ‘you may,’ ‘yes and’. These are statements and words that create choices and attract other attractors with synergy.

         Quantum Physicist is discovering attractors and how they influence life. Ancient wisdom and Fairy tales have been aware of the invisible but obvious influences of the magic of attractors. These energies have been called Angels, Sages, Avatars, and many more names. They were visited by mystics who have shared their experiences of the wisdom of ages and bringing passion, compassion, truth, courage, understanding and forgiveness. When we manifest those values we tap into and become attractors with each contact building our presence and value.

         Pay attention, attractors are all around us, use them. Become one.  

Conscience

Let your conscience be you guide.

         Within all of us are many voices, many reasons, emotions, sensations, choices and challenges. How to know which one is conscience?

         Conscience isn’t the loudest, doesn’t have an accent, sure isn’t pushy, or even assertive.

         Conscience isn’t concerned with being right or making anyone wrong.  

         Conscience resonates with feeling good. It doesn’t need press, (I’ve written for years and finally got around to acknowledging the wisdom of a childhood cartoon hero and his intent to do the right things.) but conscience lets me sleep easy at night, and may even add color, sound, music and messages to Mr. Morpheus directions in dreamland.

         Conscience speaks with respect for me and all I connect too.

         Conscience doesn’t  need editing. 

         Knowing conscience is there, available at each moment, that conscience is not something I have to exercise, update, upgrade, reload, just remember it is speaking in a still small voice with all our best interests at heart.

         Hearing conscience speak is a comfort.

         I wonder if it is an identity, a guardian angel, or a connection to higher center. I knew it existed before Pinocchio and Walt Disney crowned Jiminy Cricket- “Lord High Keeper of the Knowledge of Right and Wrong, Counselor in Moments of Temptation, and Guide along the Straight and Narrow Path."

         Conscience seems like one of the first things to go with politicians often unpopular with teens, and easily lost in the din of the high tech 2000’s. 

         Did Donald bankrupt his conscience? When I think Donald I think Duck is an appropriate verb.J

         Where is conscience in cyberspace?

         Conscience is a voice that needs recognition, a revival. It is not a religious movement to be aware of, but a podcast to listen for inner guidance. A voice that brings meaning to our methods, clarifies our course, helps align the new age and gives speakers the conviction and honesty to share core values.   

       

Be Gentle

Be Gentle 

When our desire surpasses our fear. 

         As many years as I wandered in the 'woo-woo' of life I only had one invisible angel speak to me. Almost forty years ago while living alone in St. Johns, Oregon an odor of a strange perfume was followed by a voice  "Be Gentle." That's all. It was a time of change  and I took the words to mean be gentle with your self. 

        There is a Gary Larson-The Far Side-cartoon showing two Martians hiding behind a rock. They set up a mirror on one side of the path in front of a rock, down which were walking a man and  woman. One Martian says to the other, "Let's see if it attacks it's own image."

                                          

          We may never meet an audience so judgmental as we are of ourself. Use Self-compassion-"Be Gentle" said the angel. Cultivate self friendship as the key to self-compassion:             Be your own best friend because everyone needs someone to be there for them, and wherever we go there we are. 

          Make the audience your best friend because as a speaker your purpose is to change the world by getting the audience to fall in love with themselves. 

         Be gentle with your self, you are precious. 

How to read the Audience

How to Read the Audience

Simplified Check List

         Preparation and simplicity are cures for the fear of public speaking. Here are 3 vital elements in your presentation-

         1-You

         2-Your message

         3-The audience.

         Who is your audience?

         Whether it is a keynote address, a sales presentation, or a inspiration/motivation speech do the homework to prepare for success.

      Send out a Pre-presentation Questionnaire:

       1-What are the demographics of the audience?

         2-What are their current challenges?

         3-What are the new trends or changes in their life or industry?

      Day of presentation:

      1-Be early meet and greet. Attempt to shake hands with everyone.

        2-Introduce yourself and become friends to all-“Hi I’m Gary C Smith I am your speaker. I’ll be speaking on-your topic-with excitment.

        3-Check room temperature-microphone, lights, exits and know where the restrooms are.

       Introduction:

       1-Have your Speaker’s intro delivered well ahead of time to introducer or emcee. The introduction shares your credibility and experience.

       2-Use Self-Humor. Look dashing and debonair.

       3-Be relevant from the beginning. You are on purpose, the expert. Let them know how this message will impact them.

        Presentation:

        1-Your Attention out on the Audience!

        2-Make eye contact. One idea one person.

        3-Catch the audience cues. Be aware of an Elephant in the room.

         Post presentation:

         1-Use a ‘call backs’ asking for the audience to recap.

         2- Q & A-Remember to repeat the question.

         3-Follow up with a Thank You. 

Keep it simple as 1-2-3. 

Thinking is a Learned Skill

                Thinking is a learned skill.

Speaking fearlessly clear thought is key.

A man is talking to God. “God, how long is a million years?”

God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.”

“God, how much is a million dollars?”

“To me, it’s a penny.”

“God, may I have a penny?”

“Wait a minute.

You had to think to make cents out of the story. J

Thinking requires connecting ideas, segues. 

It requires memory & organization which means visualization, separating this from that.

IT requires comparison and scale which brings in the concept of continuums.

Thinking requires multiple points of view (POV)

Thinking requires the EGO to get out of the way so that

         You can make a mistake

                  You don’t have to be right

                           You go past ‘I already know that.’

Mathematics with numbers, computation skills, equations, permutations, calculations are the reason Algebra exists to teach the basics of thinking. The How.

The Why of thinking is contained in this thought from Martha Heyman  

“Only human beings have the time (and capacity) to ponder, to find out where they came from, to imagine how it feels to be someone else, to envision the whole and their place in it, to wonder what they are suppose to do with their large brains and their leisure time.”

How to exercise your thinking muscle:

         Take risks

                  Make decisions

                           Change POV

                                    Ask questions

                                             Be deliberate

                                                      Have a place to think

                                                               Have a time to think

                                                                        Have a purpose to learn the skill

         Celebrate and share your original thought.

March Forth and Show Up.

          This is a special day when the Julian calendar sends a message. This message was originally written on March Forth 2004, an election day with banners being displayed that encouraged us to “Stand Up and Be Counted.” That day PBS played a musical tribute to songwriters of the 20^th century and I loved the big band music singing

♪‘Ya gotta accent the positive,

latch on to the affirmative.

Don’t mess with Mr. In-between.”♪ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z45EB4TiYz4

         Sung by Bette Midler & Bing Crosby

         I funnel these communications through the idea “The meaning of life is the meaning you give life.” As a speaker  March Forth and Show up with presence that has meaning.

         Show up where?

         March Forth where?

         Everywhere.!

         Take a day with a built-in message, and turn up the volume to show up with more kindness, more presence, more fun, more compassion, more creativity.

         Today I am handling some incompletes.  I am checking my own messages and securing that I am in clarity with what I am doing and Marching Forth with a clear message, my banner “Paying Attention is My Best Investment.”

         Well it’s March.

         March is our first verb month. May is the next verb month.

         Today is March forth, an admonition from the ages to step forward & make your self known.  Deliberately March forth and see what happens.         Carry your banner

         March forth with a plan to be felt and feel what happens.

         March forth being present, and see what else shows up.

         March is magical with the equinox, the Ides and a full 31 days to March.

         What’s March mean to you?  Time to come out of hibernation.

         It’s time to Spring soon.

Gumption.

Gumption. Get up & Go

         Here is a great word to use in presentations. A word that does, like Captain Kirk is often quoted, “…boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Gumption:

         1.Boldness of enterprise; initiative or aggressiveness.

         2.Guts; spunk.

         3.Common sense.

         What a story this word creates. It has a place in the Word Hall of Fame. The mix of initiative, risk and common sense is a recipe for a hero.          

         This word is a noun, a person, place or thing, but it feels more like a verb, an action, a way of being. 

         Watch for power words. Words to take on a quest. Words to inspire an audience. Words to save me on a rainy day when the S.A.D.S.* drizzle forth ‘stinkin-thinkin’.

         Got Gumption?

         Who’s got it?

         Where does it come from?

         How did they get it?

         How can I get some?

         It comes from the same store that serve other Hall of Fame Words, like Attention, Belief, Conscious, Discipline, Effort, Feedback, down the G aisle along with Grace and Gratitude. A place where words are tools to build the skill and karma accounts. Words that transform into action.

         All our heroes Got Gumption.

         Public Speaking requires Gumption. Parenting needs Gumption, the whole concept of birthing, caring, teaching, and the patience of parents require Gumption.

         We build Gumption from taking risks.  Risks are very individual. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, business all have different, individual kinds of risks. One person risks a six-figure income to start his or her own business. Another takes a risk and leaves their comfort zone to teach others to take risks. Some risk their ‘likeability’ by knocking on a door, making cold calls, risking rejection. Some have risked physical safety by walking on fire, parachuting for fun and thrills, taking on physical challenges to manifest Gumption

         Life changes are risky business, and appreciating changes builds Gumption.

*S.A.D.S. Seasonally Afflected Disorders 

Don't make it a habit.

Don’t make it a habit.

         A key to being a conscious public speaker. .

         I am challenged by the statements negative aspect, how can I ‘don’t-as in not do a thing when many teachers’ state affirmations, goals, and intentions need to be framed in the positive because our conscious mind doesn’t hear the ‘don’t, or the not’.

         Are our minds so crazy that when I state I am not going to eat after 8pm, my mind defaults to eating after 8pm? Are we that contradictory?

         “That’s what you don’t want. What do you want?” Coaches ask.

         “Well I don’t want to make it a habit.” Student replies.

         “That’s what you don’t want. What do you want?” Coach asks.

         “I want to consciously, deliberately, choose, my reality.”

         So when or how does my positive intentions become a habit?

         What is a habit?

         Is it a fall from grace into a rut; sleep walking, becoming robotic?

         Is habit letting our evil inner siblings loose to do the same thing and expect different results?

         Is habit indulging to allow others to indoctrinate me?

         Don’t make it a habit really means make it how I want it.

         In dance class when the instructor says ‘don’t think ’ it means to decide to enjoy and appreciate your new dance steps. To remember your intention. That’s when the dancing happens.

         How do I stop from making ‘it’ a habit?

         I have a habit of watching my fingers as I type. This was a tough paragraph to type without watching, I kept cheating and looking. I get disturbed if I make a mistake. I feel very uncomfortable ungluing my eyes from the keyboard. It’s a battle to not watch my fingers. My habits trapped me until I recall the gradient approach to learning. I practice and I gradually free my attention, and stop looking.

         In speaking, breaking a habit can be a way of finding more time to be present, more space to allow ideas to resonate with my audience. Finding the magic of the space behind a note, a beat, that allows more freedom of expression to create fully. Not rushing the thought, being gradiently uncomfortable to break the habits.

         Be aware of what’s a habit and what’s not. Use the feedback to support goals. Don’t make anything a habit, unless it’s your intent. 

Stating the Obvious

Stating the Obvious        

         Often when speaking it becomes necessary to State the Obvious.

If it is so obvious why does the speaker need to present it?

OBVIOUS to you is not OBVIOUS to the audience.

It is the speakers job to let the cat out of the hat and assist the audience in seeing, hearing and feeling the obvious.

Changes are challenging. New information or new ways of seeing, hearing or feeling old information can be difficult to fathom. Concepts may hold multiple meanings.  For example FEAR of NOTHING can also yield NOTHING to FEAR.   

The obvious could have been glassed over into an invisible habit.  

It can become the invisible elephant in the room, invisible to the audience, but there still is an elephant in the room.

         When the emperor is naked, he is naked. Pretense will not change his nudity. Nor will pointing fingers get him dressed.

Ignoring the obvious is sometimes known as ignorance.

         Those obvious points need to be considered in relationship to the presentation. They often act as a foundation, the basics needed to build a unique selling propositions, to juxtapose new meaning, to boldly go where no has gone before.

         Stating the obvious is not a time to insult the audience’s intelligence. It is time to be subtle, speak slowly and combine intent to share the epiphany in the moment. It can be a great surprise that takes your presentation “off the charts.”

         Add your body language, gestures and facial expressions to create an elegant wordless moment that expresses and accents the obvious like an ‘AHA’ or even a humorous Homer Simpson ‘DUH’.

The obvious can be quite surprising.                                                  

Exercise: What are examples of the obvious? Multiple meanings?  Invisible habits?

Beyond turn off phones, where the rest rooms are, and when’s the break what are the obvious that needs to be presented?  

Yes, And

Yes, And

         This is from lessons in Neuro Linguistic Practice (NLP) and exercises in Improv, a way of growing your attention, and recognizing the interconnectedness of all things from both Quantum Physics and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

         In Improvisation, while on stage, you are given a line, a topic, even a prop and it’s time to create. Saying “Yes, and” to what your partner or team says.

         Yes, I accept you and from your idea and I will build yu and your idea to look and be better. My goal is to make you and thus us look better, and entertain.”

         “Yes, and” can lead to great humor, new ideas, and a great sense of presence in the NOW. 

         “Yes, and” requires paying attention.

         In NLP “Yes, and” changes my world. It changes how I feel. “Yes and” allows me to own all of life, instead of the separation, stuckness of not belonging. 

         I am whole and a part of all things is one of the affirming mantras of new age consciousness lifting. 

         Here is an example of how “Yes and” can add attention, connection and peace to your life.

         Feel the difference between these two statements:

         We went on vacation but, it rained.

         We went on vacation and it rained.

         Which one felt better?

         Which one rained on your parade?

         Using “Yes, and” is communication that empowers and does not create a separation between you and your experience. It does not negate or separate you from your experience with a butt.

         Butts are best made for sitting, and observing.

         Change those separating butts into ands. Feel the difference.

Lost passion?

What to do when you lose your passion?

         Like when love walks out the door. When hope jumps ship.  Or your dreams, that floated above carrying you like balloons, your feet barely touching the ground, fizzled flying aimlessly landing deflated in a corner smelling of wet rubber. Your passion is gone. 

What can you do?       

You can try & remember where you last had it? Did you leave it in the bedroom? But maybe we’re not looking for that kind of passion, not the infatuation, the ardor, the fervor but the passion of wonder at each moment of life. 

The passion that kick starts my morning. The passion that gets me to workout. 

The passion that excites my day, my work, my friendships, that fuels interest & puts me into the compassionate quest for awareness, for enthusiasm, & for pure joy.  

Without delving into the ‘stinking’ thinkin’ or the ‘pity-pots’ or the introspection of ‘poor me’ lets find some magic potions, some panaceas for the lost passion blahs.

Start with a mirror, cause how can you get very far if you don’t know who you are?  Take a good long look & see if you are who you think you are. 

Put your attention out there, on your image, on something besides your mind-set, because lost passion means your mind is fixed on something. The passion won’t return while focusing on it, you need to focus on someone or something else. Take your attention from inside, to outside. Be a friend, listen, observe, get interested in someone else & begin to care. Focus on another person & imagine-

“This person is just like me, seeking happiness in their life.

“Just like me they are trying to avoid suffering.

“This person has known sadness, loneliness and discouragement. 

“Just like me they want passion in their life.

“This person is just like me worthy of appreciation, interest, changes, and passion.*

There is a tendency when we are feeling lack, as in lack of money, love, enthusiasm, passion to hide. 

“I don’t want anyone to know I indulge in negativity. I’ll just curl up in bed with all my self defeating smelly friends.”

 To regain the passion it’s time to fight the inertia, to beat gravity, change your attitude, & sit up straight because you cannot be negative while sitting up straight. Change your posture & your attitude changes, because your attitude is your orientation to the horizon. Then begin singing, ♪I got a new attitude♫ **

You will find you are unique, awesome, & incredible just like everyone else. 

* A variation of THE COMPASSION EXERCSE from Harry Palmer-ReSurfacing

** New Attitude by The Pointer Sisters. 

A Way to Handle Limits

         ”Imagine there is a deity or a machine in the sky, a giant Hoover vacuum cleaner that’s purpose is to suck up our limits when we perform the appropriate gesture. It is a gesture of ‘offering up’ our limits.

“Imagine the limit is in our hand and flip them up into the sky to feed the Hoover. This gesture can be a noticeable large two-handed gesture or it can be small and invisible to everyone else. It is a gesture of conscious awareness. Sounds hokey but being aware of a habit, and our limits have become habits, the offering up gesture relieves the attachment to the habit and begins the practice of being unlimited.

“Here is an example of how to use the HOOVER. Sitting among a group of people someone begins share their tale of sadness and woe full of stinking thinking, limits and negativity-“I can’t believe … people should always….I hate it when….nobody can be happy…I can’t remember anything…. I can’t….You know limits, critique’s, naysayers-bummers!

“The HOOVER is hungry for those limits. OFFERING THEM UP and  build your Unlimited Freedom of Choice Muscle.

“The gesture need not be grand and embarrassing, a flip of the thumb or tongue, a shrug of the shoulder is enough to catch a NOW of Limits and send them into a moment of non-limits.”

 Why does the Hoover work?

         “The Hoover works because it is your attention,” continued IAM, “ coupled with your awareness, intention and a universe, or multi-verse, that supports each of us in having what we want. Life wishes to evolve. Life may be neutral and have a propensity that encourages enlightenment. It is the opposite of the plumber’s union credo-Shit runs down hill and pay day is on Friday.

         Paying Attention is our Best Investment and the HOOVER is here suck up all negativity and limits. It’s automatic. No need to even empty the bag. Use it when you feel limits or negativity anytime from now on.

         “Place your open palms in front of you. Imagine any negative or limiting thought in your hands and toss it to the Hoover in the sky.”

EXCERPTS FROM Gary’s new Novel:
Art Deco Meets the Ancient Wisdom Experience-AWE

How addictive are excuses?

         Can you go a day without an excuse? An hour?

         What’s your favorites?

         Number one is:Time-Not enough time. You got that one?

         Or too much time so procrastination wins!

         Then there is fear-the -False Evidence Appearing Real:

         “If they find out I am Lazy, irresponsible, stupid & wrong, careless, forgetful, I need an excuse.

         You are not any of those labels you are an ever growing, often learning, free spirit with choices, unique like everyone else.                                                                       Excuses are there to keep you from owning your greatness.                    You may believe your excuse, I don’t and as with most excuses no one else believes them either. 

         There are excuses that really kill us.

                  “One drink for the road is OK”

                  “I don’t need that physical, I am OK”

                  “Everyone is doing it.”

         There are plausible seeming REAL excuses.

         These are the true stories, though excuses. For example the story of the worried mom whose teenager was on her first date and came home an hour after curfew. “I was worried sick about you,” Mom said with a nervousness in her voice.

         “I’m sorry mom.” Said the daughter, “But I couldn’t get the condom on.” That might have been more information than mom wanted.

         There are great excuses on line-a plethora to add to your creativity. 

         Astrology excuse-Were you born under a bad sign, “Virgo can’t do anything unless it’s perfect is my excuse.”

         Sex-“I’m a girl and we’re bad at math.” “That’s the way my dad did it.”

         Age-“At my age I am lucky to remember anything.” “I’m too new at this.”

         Generics:“I was never good at ‘blah, blah blah’.

         “I am not a technical person

         “My parents were ‘blah, blah, blah’.

         “I’m left-handed, hard of hearing, disabled, over/under qualified.

         Do you want greatness in your life?

         Are your values motivating you or are your excuses and a chronic case of the disease of tomorrow keeping your life as one of ‘good enough?’

         The bottom line is No one cares about excuses except the one making them. It is habitual. A reaction to fear of failure and a belief you are not being good enough

Here is a Call to act-You are good enough without your excuse!~

Here is what can you do?

         Keep your agreements and only make agreements you are willing and able to keep.

         Pay attention to what you say.

         Get help-join EEE Eradicate Erase Excuses

         Commit to your values.

         Breathe out the excuse-Just Let the excuse go-we don’t care. Get   on with being present.

         If you want to be great, not just good enough, there are no excuses, it takes paying attention.

Well Excuse Me…..☺

        A great introduction to a funny routine, BUT There is nothing funny about our excuses, his or her excuses, their excuses and especially the governments excuses

        

       They’re destroying us!

         They’re what is keeping us stuck at Good Enough.

         Time to eradicate, eliminate erase and finally deodorize the stinking thinking plaguing the world.

         I first heard of stinking thinking(S/T) from Zig Ziglar, 40 years ago. It is still a rampant plague.

         You may have heard me rant on about S/T

         Well excuse me…… I’m doing it again and I ain’t stopping till the stench is gone and we can all smell the roses.

         The world of excuses is more than a symptom 

         The language of excuses is addictive.

         The only answer is total withdrawal from all excuses

         Unconditional surrender.

Time to sign the No More Excuses Certification Form.

(Contact me for a form.)

         Excuses are a waste of the only non-renewable resource-Time.

      

Self Talk that’s nice

         These are phrases aimed at yourself, such as,  ‘You may,’ ‘Could you,’ ‘Notice that’, all neutral,  and judgment free. It is your attention that points to making personal changes without pain.

         For example “Gary, you may want to do some more editing before sending out this blog.” Or, “Could you find another way of saying that?”  Or, “Notice your favorite jeans are shrinking again this holiday season.”          

         Examples neutral judgment free feedback.

         Pain is such a catalyst for change, but not always necessary. When I have the clarity and freedom from moments of embarrassment, discomfort and trauma and recall one of those times I wish would have gone differently I can replay it and notice I was OK. It happened, I survived, maybe even some humor occurs as you disassociate from that pain.

         What you can do in your imagination, you can make real. You are more than your actions, more than your feelings; you can just watch and appreciate whatever happens. It’s called life. 

         Just be nice to the most important, creative and caring person in the world-You.