Creating Rapport with an Audience

Rapport is the best gift you can give your audience.

A speakers two best friends are rapport and preparation.

How can you create rapport with an audience?
It is tough to mirror and match an audience of more than a few.

TIPS:
Get there early, be first and introduce yourself to everyone.

It's not easy with more than ten, so still be early, be by the door, wear a name tag.

Plan your presentation to match the four different personality styles.
Be bright, vivacious, enthusiastic for the promoters-they have on the bright colors, the most jewelery and are aggressive and informal in style.

Give a bottom line objective and results for the controllers. There creases are neatest.

Recognize and speak slow and soft toward the nourishers’ and acknowledge their presence. Become their new best friend.

Be reasonable analytic in the why we are here to the analyzers.

Tell the truth-be authentic-be real in desiring to create rapport.

“Good morning. I wish I had the time to connect with each of you, and EVENTUALLY I will, for NOW please know that I am here to do that-to connect, to create results, to have fun and provide the information you deem important for us to trust each other."

You can create rapport when a question is asked.

"I'm glad you asked that. Let me repeat the question."

Do not wait till the end

of the seminar for Q&A.

Great rapport means no one gets lost along the way.

“We are all on the same page. Your goals and our goals match because rapport is the best gift we can give each other."

Remember there is an interconnectedness of all things.

We have more in common than we do in difference, and who wants to be indifferent to change?

Create an Attitude of Gratitude.

Be and feel honored to speak.

Have a plan to put your gratitude into motion.

Acknowledge everyone!

Appreciate yourself for the risk taken, Challenges met & skills you have developed and willingly share.

Shameless self Promotion

“Mommy mommy look at me.”

It begins at an early age.

It’s the stage after we begin to learn & want to share a new skill & get others attention.

The theme is shameless self-promotion.

A mixed and convoluted way to spread the word, the promoter, the promotion and often much much more.

This is not a rant on why not too self-promote, but how to do it ethically.

How to with no shame and ask for what one wants from the purity of our intentions.

For we have nothing for which to be a-SHAMED.


Shameless self-promotion happens all our life.

We may have joined Toastmasters to get good at it.


If you really get good at it you’re a star.

Madonna got so good at it that re-invention as a different kind of star became a mainstream rage.

Look at Oprah

Look at our President Obama

You can’t be a popular politician without Shameless self-promotion.

Daytime TV is made up of shameless self-promotion.

The dictionary offers insightful looks at the terms.

Shame

1. a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace. b. Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?

2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.

3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy. See synonyms at disgrace.

4. A great disappointment.

Self-promotion-noun

1. The act of promoting or the fact of being promoted.

2. Advancement in rank or responsibility.

3. Encouragement of the progress, growth, or acceptance of something; furtherance.

4. Advertising; publicity.


This is a term, like manipulative, that has got bad press.

Manipulate means to artfully and skillful do something.

If someone is manipulative they are considered improperly using someone and are BAD.

It is not the words it is the implications in the mind of the listener.


Shameless self-promotion means to bring no disgrace, no dishonor, no disappointment, or the pain of guilt to an endeavor.

Self-promotion is about an advancement of responsibility.

The encouragements of progress.

It is A furtherance of a person place or thing.

Shameless self-Promotion is an honorable project.

Rid yourself of any feelings of guilt.

Harbor no shame.

Advance the Ranks.

It's not like Riding a Bike

Overcoming the fear of Public Speaking is a sensitive issue.

Sensitive because our EGO is involved.

I can't make a mistake.

It was our egos that created the sensitivity and fear.

Our four year old grandson Trent has aquired Grandpa Gary's verbosity.

The censors have not arrived & his speech is free flowing, fearless, & with excitement. He has seen, heard and felt life and wishes to share it.

He is in the 'actually' stage. "Actually Grandpa, it is Speed racer and not Kyle Busch."

It's a wonderful version of 'correction without invalidation.'

He just wants to get the facts straight, I have to be right."

He practices a lot.

It's all new, & no one has told him, & it will never come from me, that he is wrong.

It's all good stuff.

But with those who have had the other kind of experiences, the I am 'stupid & wrong.'

"They laughed at me",

"I forgot what I was going to say",

"I feel stupid",

"I can't do this,"

the sensitivity-embarassment, ridicule, taunting, kidding, teasing takes its toll.

It may not be the phsycial pain and scars of a bike crash, those heal.

We forget, put on a helmet and get back in the saddle.

Where is the helment for the scars are EGO's create?

How can we get back back in the saddle, after embarrassment, and the fear returns?

Practice.

Practice again.

Practice some more.

Just cause you got over the fear once, it can come back and the only answer is practice putting your attention out.

When your inner turmoil becomes to large to handle, put your attention on practice, on something outside of yourself.

Accept, initiate or reinitiate the beginners mind.

The fear lives in only one place, inside you.

Oh yea, I already know that.

You don't have to be right, be a lefty for a change.

You can make a mistake, you are human.

And you do know all of this, so share it with others.

Telling a joke to the clerk at the store, gets you back in the saddle.

You have value-share yourself.

Rapport is the best gift you can give.

Rapport is a speakers best friend along with preparation.

How can you create rapport with an audience?

It's tough to match and mirror an audience of more than a few.

Here are some tips:

Get there early, even be the first one there and introduce yourself to everyone.

With large groups wear your name tag and stand near the door and observe.

Plan your presentation to cover the four personality styles.

Be bright, vivacious, and enthusiasm for the promoters, the blings in vivid color.

Give the bottom line objective to the controllers, the suited, well pressed ones.

Nod toward the nourishers, speaking slower with empathy recognizing them.

Be reasonable and analytic in why we are here and the immensity of info to cover.

Be authentic, tell the truth, in your desire to create rapport. "Greetings to each of you. I wish to connect with each of you, and EVENTUALLY I will, for NOW know that is my intent. I trust we will have fun, create results, decipher the information we need to feel good."

Create rapport when a question is asked. Do not wait till the the end of the presentation for Q&A, great rapport means no one gets lost along the way.

The interconnectedness of all things. We have more in common than we do in difference, and who wants indifference to our topic?

"Your goals and our goals match because rapport is the best gift we can give each other."

The Attitude of gratitude and Acts of Apprehension are the guides.

People like people who are and like them.

Accept the honor that speaking creates and especially Appreciate yourself for the risk, challenges and preparation you share.
Dirk Gently-Wholistic Detective-In search of the Interconnectedness of all things

Paying for the Words

-"That's a great deal to make one word mean," Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

"When I make a word do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra."

How much are you paying for your words?

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, " it means just what I chose it to mean-neither more or less."

"The question is ," said Alice, " Whether you can make words mean so many different things."

"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master-that's all."

Who is the master?

Are you choosing or are you being what your words believe you are.

Is the word, the name, the label more than what you mean it to be?

Are you trapped by your words?

Are certain words running the show?

Is there power in CAN'T?

Does WORRY run the show?

Has WHATEVER taken over?

Our Public Speaking is 93% body talk and vocal variety,

BUT our words are 100% of our communication in our Private Speaking.

Chose our words carefully, we may become them.

Get Fit

Is there any activity, endeavor, skill, task, or goal that doesn't come easier when we are fit?

Dealing with the fear of public speaking, the nervousness, is much easier to handle with the breath control attained from physical fitness.
Shallow breathing, a rapid up heart rate, that unneeded adrenaline rush does not show poise and confidence.
My favorite exercise pattern now is NIA, " a high powered energizing workout...its a total mind body celebration...NIA is like chocolate" it gives you the high without the calories.
NIA builds self appreciation by focusing on the pleasure of our bodies.

Our bodies make up over 50% of what we communicate.
A NIA class encourages creativity of movement.
NIA sets the mind to explore the bodies possibilities of expression.
A NIA instructor uses martial arts, healing modalities, and dance forms to provide an environ to communicate positive affirmations, strength, and flexibility.

As a speaker those are traits I wish to build every day.
Get Fit and Dance through Life. and Speak Fearlessly.

Becoming Mediterranean

Gesturing.

How many gestures do you have? Let's do an inventory.

Can you:

Stop in the name of love?

Can you:

Invite someone in?

Can you:

Hitch a ride?

Can you:

Be the one

Can you:

Say a prayer?

Can you:

Beats me.

Can you:

Hurry up.

Can you:

Slow down you move too fast?

Can you:

Shh, be quiet.

Can you:

Come on join in

Can you:

Be disgusted

Can you:

Wail and flail, get confused and then get centered?

All with your gestures.

Can you become Mediterranean?

Be silent, speak only with your hands.

How important is it to Speak?

It is important to have a message.

It is important to share that message.

To tell a story and make a point is how humanity evolved.

It was eons of generations before a story could be shared other than by speaking.

Eons before the written word storytellers shared the messages of wisdom, of which berries to eat, where the clean water flowed, food, shelter, the magic of survival and words to thrive.

Storytellers held the clan together, understood death, passed on nourishment, brought laughter,

acknowledged change, spoke of taboos, victories, and taught others to speak the truth.

But today, where does the importance reside?

The media's have spoken words in a billion places, movies, audios, TV, the Internet.

The magic,wisdom, laughter, the stories have been told, recorded and are available to all.

The importance now resides in the speaker.

The courageous ones who choose to speak and share the greatest gift of humanity, our presence. Sharing our story, the uniqueness of me, of you, of us.

The importance of speaking is in the past, the future and mostly in our presence.

Our wish to share, to inspire, to motivate, to entertain.

To build a skill 99% of the populace can learn and master.

To understand the concepts of 'need to know and need not to know.

To understand it is not what I say, it is what you hear.

To understand that 93% of our communication is not the words.

To connect with another or a group and deliver words of change, words of victory, words of care, laughter to handle upsets, words to unfold new points of view.

Speaking fearlessly is abolishing fear, the biggest lie.

History or Herstory its Your Story!

History or Herstory
“Everything great must have its story.”
--Found on a tin of Velamints.

What’s your story?
All of us have stories.
Stories of times when we made a difference.
Stories as unique as person telling the story.

But like so many skills & art forms it takes a coach to bring out the best.
We are losing our ability to tell stories. Much of our history is being re-written, spun to an agenda. Generations have lost the ability to pass on wisdom, know how, kindness & compassion.
The oldest generation experienced life in ways never to be seen or heard again. Each individual was part of the power of that NOW.

You have a message.

You have meaning to that message that needs to be passed on, not passed over.

It is an important time to formulate your message and deliver that message in writing, but more importantly by word of mouth.

To break the media cycle of human less communication and use the SPOKEN WORD to preserve and share your wisdom, hopes & fears, doubts & triumphs, and most importantly your unique POINTS OF VIEW.

Speaking to groups, family or friends they need to hear as much as you need to speak your voice.

We are not just aging; we have aged to being an elder, with a message, and its time to speak up.

Having reached the magical age of 60, Gary C Smith, is coaching those who wish to share their message.

As a coach, Gary deals with the fear of public speaking, assists with providing and editing content, connects with the 93% of communication beyond words, and shares the fun and meaning of your message.

Chronicling Your Story-A Tip
Telling and translating a story can start with a list, a tree-to hang your fruits upon, a really cool digital watch-to keep them in real time, or a mind map. The map starts with key idea, and then I armed with memories that lead away or toward more of who, what, when, how, and why you are.
Have fun being an omnificent writer, an engaged first person narrator, an impartial third person with video, or combine all three as in a dream, be the director, viewer and the star, even have a cameo role.
Get started today, tomorrow there will be one more thing to remember, put pen to paper NOW . For now you don’t need an editor and will never need a judge!y or Herstory

“In olden days when a storyteller comes to the end of her tale,

she places the palm of her hand on the ground and says,
‘I put my story here so that someone else may take it up another day.”

Phone Magic

Phone: Friend or Foe? How to tell:
We all use them each day. Sometimes our business and our success is driven by our phone presence, but how do we know what is going on the other end? Are they getting our message? What kind of an impression am I making?
Here are some phone guidelines I find effective:
1-Client Fishing. You put out the bait, an ad, a business card, a one to one meeting, and they called. Oh, Happy Day. Have a standardize greeting, “XYZ business. This is Gary. How can I help you? LISTEN then use the Five Magic Words. “Tell me about your ____.” Script the blank to your service or business. “Tell me about your hair, yourself, your loan, your child, your roof, your challenge.” Or with your sincerity ask, “How I can help you?” The KEY is to have an active attitude of curiosity and gratitude for the call and respond by putting all your attention on the caller. If you make a lot of calls having a mirror in front of you can be very helpful at maintaining attention, smiling and reinforcing your side of the call as positive. Without being able to show your happy face, you must intend them to know your interest in them. You must let them know you care. “

2-Taking Notes. Show you care by asking if you can take notes. Your showing you care, are paying attention and want to get it straight. You can add to this at the end of the conversation by saying, “Let me read back my notes so I can be sure I got our conversation right.”

3-Breathing. Belly breathing is the best way to stay connected on the phone. It slows the need to rush, and it keeps you more in tuned to the magic of feeling. I don’t think judging from feeling is useful, but being in your feeling is usually more effective than being in your agenda.

4-Digital Remembering. This is my reminder on how to get an appointment right. Make sure all the information is correct by index finger pointing at the info and reading it back. “Sam our meeting is on January 29, Thursday, at your office, 123 Main street at 2:00.” Remember to pause and listen for the response.

5-Humor and Honesty. Tell them your glad for the call, even say “I want you to know that put a smile on my face.” Become a teammate and show you’re also concerned about the issue.

6-Brag, just a little, about your connection and appreciation of them. “I just want you to know that we are sending, referring, linking to your business. A business to business connection. We want you to know we appreciate you.”

7-Thank them. Feel the thanks. You can never say thanks too much, or for creating a special feeling. Phone service is not about being right, always winning or even getting the truth told. It is an impression, a limited sensory experience, so make the best use of your guidelines, and project your appreciation for taking them a bite.

Connecting over the Phone is a program available from Gary C Smith Public Speaking & Trainings 510-722-3212

The Art of Persuasion

Audio communication doesn’t get any better than The Art of Persuasion by Dr. Rick Kirschner. Dr Rick has a voice that intones interest. His use of characters, stories, and humor give him abilities to make large valuable pieces of information palatable and memorable. This audio is a must for everyone from sales people; counselors, teachers, parents, children and anyone who has an idea and wishes to create change and break free from the inSAMEity of the habitual sleep walk society has fallen into.

There are brilliant individuals in our society with life changing ideas who need this audio. Our ‘information-tech’ society will not flourish without the insights and the keen sense of ‘useful assumptions’, a reduction of individual differences by ‘blending’, understanding ‘access languaging’, and the move from limits to ‘possibilities gates’ that Dr Rick clearly states for all personality styles. It is both a beginners course in the art of persuasion and a doctoral dissertation on persuasion and how to protect yourself from persuasive manipulation.

Dr. Rick has made the valuable transition from helping us deal with difficult people, to dealing with the most difficult person of all, our self.

This is not an audio of scripting, manipulation techniques or psycho babble, but here are the basic patterns of effective persuasive communication, not just with others, but to better understand who I am, and the ethical qualities that honest, authentic, real people need to know

Our educational system needs to be revamped around Dr. Rick’s’ The Art of Persuasion.

As a trainer of speakers I use Dr Rick information as guidelines for my marketing group, Toastmasters, and public speaking.

He sums it all up with two quotes:
“If you have to be right, your doing it wrong.”
“You make a difference in your world and in our world.”
I can say the same and more about the works of Dr. Rick Kirschner, he makes a difference in my life.
Thank you
Gary C. Smith Public Speaking & Trainings

The Greatest Speech

Get ready it is coming.

The greatest speech of our lifetime, prehaps of the history of the USA.

How do you know?

What else could Mr. Obama do?

He is going to amaze us, make us cry, give us hope, speak complete sentences and really, really, really mean it!

Oh yea,

I know cause I've had the flu and tapped into some amazing auditory hallucination.

I can't remember the speech word for word.

I am a little confused about the ideas,

I am sick, but by golly, by gum I feel it!

The road he's travelled, the colleages he's gathered, the family he loves and his ability to put his attention in the moment!

"Here & Now boys & girls."

"Here & now boys & girls."

Get ready to listen.

Practice with your chuildren, your co-workers, at the unemployment line, applying for a job, working the soup kitchen, listen.

Listening is not about the sounds hitting the ear drum, the hammer and anvill doing some type of synphonic cacophony, but, like in my auditory hallucinations, hearing what's important. Grasping meaning and being able to share the meaning.

Listening is looking right in the eyes, and not switching channels, or adding a new down beat or changing the tempo.

Listening is about letting the speaker speak, without your agenda, the Democrats or Republicans agenda, not your mothers or Gods agenda.

Things will be said that sway us into hearing each other better.

And that's what I want, to hear the message that everyone has to say.

A message came in my dreams
Where Mr. Morpheus planted seeds
Of magic beans & missing friends
who speak words bearing love
hidden beyond sights, sounds & smells
wonders of life
& dark days being celebrated.
Seeds holding gifts of fruits
Faces inspiring poets
& play of children holding hands
& whispering
“I’ve got a secret.
Let me tell you how it goes.
If your real quiet
You can see
& feel
how we’re all the same.

Let us Sleepers Awake.